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They say the key to a healthy rela­tion­ship is lis­ten­ing to your part­ner. Never has this been made so starkly evi­dent as in the sad but hilar­i­ous story of JD and Em, which is cur­rently burn­ing up the Internet.

While JD claims he talked exten­sively with his girl­friend about the two-week back­pack­ing trip he was about to take in Europe, she didn’t seem to get the mes­sage. Below, read the high­lights of the two-week chain of unan­swered e-mails in which she gets angrier and angrier at his lack of response.

Fri­day June 1
Hey hun, me again. Tried call­ing your cell a few times today but it kept going right to voice­mail. You’re not screen­ing me are you?;)

Sun­day, June 3
Why are you not respond­ing to my calls and emails? Where are you?! I waited all night for you to get in touch with me. I’m not happy here babe.

Tues­day June 5
Why are you avoid­ing me? You’re not answer­ing your cell, you won’t return my texts.… JD wtf?! I know you’re around! Your friend jeremy is such a bullsh***er. When he said he hadn’t seen you all week­end I could hear you talk­ing in the background

As JD checks out the old world, the poor guy gets dumped, taken back dumped again and cheated on — all unbe­knownst to him.

Tues­day, June 5
We’re through… don’t call me, don’t text me, don’t bother now. You’ll never know what you lost, I was the one, and now I feel sorry for you because you’ll never have that again. I feel so sorry for you, ha ha ha.

Sun­day June 10
Remem­ber that friend of mine that you were jeal­ous of who I said that nuf­fin ever will hap­pen with well I was cry­ing with him about you and he told me how amaz­ing I was, how he always though so and so I f*****d him to show you I’m right! Now who’s the stu­pid one?

Tues­day June 12
I’m mad and hurt right now. I really felt some­thing between us and now you’ve gone and thrown it all away and I have no idea why.… I know you’ll call me tonight. We have a lot to dis­cuss. A lot of bad and good. It may not change things and we may still be bro­ken up, but you at least owe me a con­ver­sa­tion. A chance.

Thurs­day June 14
I tried to reach out to you JD, I really did. But I take back all those nice things I said. I’m glad we’re bro­ken up. … I pre­tended so many times to like the stu­pid shows you like, to watch the stu­pid movies you like, to enjoy spend­ing time with your asi­nine friends. I’ve moved on.

The day before JD gets home, Em finally man­ages to get in touch with his mom, who informs her that he is, in fact, on vaca­tion.

Thurs­day June 14
sub­ject: OPEN FIRST!!! DO NOT READY ANY OTHER EMAILS!!!
If you love me, you will delete every email I’ve sent you over the past week with­out read­ing it.

JD reads the e-mails, effec­tively end­ing their relationship.

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